Si Nanay Tess

Nanay Tess was born on June 6, 1938 in Bacolod City. She is the second of four siblings. While she has remained single all her life, she rarely feels lonely; rather, she invests her spare time in various activities such as photography, collecting cards and photos, crocheting, gardening, reading the Bible and various other Christian texts, watching televison (usually telenovelas and Maalaala Mo Kaya), and playng Scrabbles.

She is a very pious woman, whose persona has been wholly committed to God. As a retired minister, Nanay Tess enjoys mingling with young adults, usually with women, with whom she converses about the Protestant ministry. In their meetings, Nanay Tess delights in bringing some of her favorite food: hard boiled eggs, arroz valenciana, dilis, squid, adobo, laswa, and her most preferred dessert, Graham icebox cake.

It was in the year 2007 when Nanay Tess was diagnosed with kidney failure, which eventually led to other organ malfunctions. Once, she had fallen victim to a heart attack, and has grown brittle and "very sick" since. Upon learning her condition, she claims to have had mixed reactions, usually that of fear, insecurity, and even anxiety.

In struggling with her condition, Nanay Tess was given a multitude of precautions, which were usually sets of "dont's". She was not allowed to carry heavy materials, nor indulge in strenuous activities that would stress her out. Her hi-fiber and low-fat intake was adjusted up a notch, which completely changed her diet. If there was one thing that Nanay Tess misses doing - something that she used to do then, but cannot do now because of her condition - she claims that it is going to Church every Sunday. She also reminisces cleaning her yard and washing clothes, which she can't even do now since she is mostly kept to rest inside her home.

The three things that make Nanay Tess happiest in her life right now points to three simple hobbies, all of which tie her to her spiritual roots: the first is serving the Lord, followed by reading the Bible, and praying. She is most concerned about herself, and which roles she holds in the world right now. She is also concerned about her sickness, which she claims to bother her terribly these days. Lastly, she is also concerned about money, which is presently on the mind of everyone that she knows and loves.

"Fighting spirits", she claims, is the biggest challenge that she ever had to overcome. Coming from a religious background, she means this to be fighting her demons, or fighting obstacles and temptations. Every time she gets to that point in her life when she feels suffocated by all the bad things, she always returns to her God, and her faith remains powerful.

In answering the question of which thing in her life she is most proud of, she does not refer to any of her achievements; instead, she talks about her friend, Helen of whom she is most proud for taking care of her 24/7, and for showing the most concern over her status from the day she was hospitalized up to the present. She regrets though, that she had not been careful about her health: that she would drink soft drinks even with an empty stomach and that she would not eat on time. She says that if she could go back in time, she would tell her past self to be careful on becoming a workaholic lest she unknowingly abuses her health. And that, if there was one thing to really tell her younger version, who did not go into a lot of romantic ventures, it would be to "love yourself".

When asked how she sees herself five years hence, Nanay Tess does not hope any longer for a life extension. Instead, she feels that, any day now, it would be time. She believes that when that time comes, everything else would "feel great", for she will be "in the Lord's Place". These days, she just winds down by telling herself to take good care of herself by looking after her health through self discipline or self control. Her faith undyingly and passionately burns as each day, she patiently waits for her Lord to escort her to His Kingdom.

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Isinulat ko ang piyesang ito noong nakaraang semestre para sa isang proyekto sa kursong Psy101. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit nakaligtaan ko itong ipaskil dito. Noon, may rason ako, ngunit hindi ko na maalala ngayon. Pakiramdam ko, malaki ang utang na loob ko, at kahit na ipagsigawan ko iyon dito ngayon, hindi pa rin sapat upang mahilom ang papawiring nagkalat ng pighati sa mundong ito.

Sumalangit na si Nanay Tess nitong Pebrero. "Goodnight" ang salitang huli niyang binigkas.

Maraming salamat, Nanay Tess. Walang nang iba pa. Maraming, maraming salamat po. Nasa piling ka na ng iyong Minamahal.

On Muay Thai

It is not just a sport. It is a test of courage. You have to be ready, especially after a lifetime of waiting. In fighting, you have to give it your best shot. You have to overcome your anxieties and look fear straight in the eye and just live the moment. It is a game of trust, in which one sets up the opponent to attack at the right moment. For five rounds, if he makes it, the fighter maintains this stance. He is tested based on his talents and the extent to which he carries himself in the ring as a fighter. There is no room for hesitation or sympathies. Even the underdog shall never stay down. Whether or not you intend to physically hurt your opponent, one has to come to terms with that, for that is the nature of the game.

If anything, it is brutal, even dangerous. Others will adamantly argue that it is nothing more than a human cockfight with bettors yelling from all sides of the arena, directing every step, calling out every move. There will be injuries – not the ones that can be treated at a moment's notice, but the really serious ones that could keep you shelved for months, the ones that are known to have claimed lives. The fighter shall not dwell on it while the match takes place. There is only do or die. When he is knocked down on cold cement, there is nothing to do but to get up just as quickly. After that, win or lose, when he looks back at that instant, he will see just how satisfyingly real it was and how good it felt to have done it all.

At the end of the day, it is all about proving oneself to the world, to the ones you love, and most importantly, to oneself. It is both excitement brewing within you throughout the fight, and adrenaline rushing out after. Anyone can try if they set their heart to it: those who feel that they have to prove something despite of dire prospects, those who feel as though they need it, those who need the money, and those who are just looking for the experience. A kid from the slums, a woman from the fields, and even an educated man from a completely different world had already proven so much in the time that they have invested in it.

Muay Thai then is not just a sport. It runs deeper than that. Only when you have managed to look past the costs and the risks and everything else in between, only when you have begun to understand just what it is that Muay Thai is about, when you have reflected on the deeper aspect of what the world knows as merely a sport, only then will you be prepared for the battle. Only then, will you be able to say that you were born a fighter.

MMFF: Pagpag: Siyam na Buhay

Ang ideya ng pamahiin bilang paksa ng pelikula ang isa sa mga rason kung bakit ko napiling panoorin ang Pagpag: Siyam na Buhay nitong nakaraang Metro Manila Film Festival. Ipinakita nitong nakasandig pa rin sa kulturang Pilipino ang makalumang paniniwala, at kung papaano ito nakaliligtaan ng kabataang Pilipino. Nakapanghihinayang lamang na bagaman Pagpag ang pamagat ng pelikula, hindi nabigyang-diin ang pamahiing ito. Gayon din ang sinapit ng iba pang pamahiin na ipinasok sa kuwento. Sa halip, ang istorya ng multo (Paulo Avelino) ang nangibabaw sa pelikula.

Kapanipaniwala ang pag-arte ng mga gumanap. Bagaman stock characters lamang sila ng karaniwang pelikulang nakatatakot, sinikap pa rin ng mga aktor na buhayin ang mga ito sa kuwento, gaya ni Janus del Prado na gumanap bilang lasenggerong Tiyo Dencio. Isiniksik niya rin ang katatawanan bilang paliban sa katatakutan.

Sa kabuuan, hindi gaanong nakatatakot ang pelikula. Agad na mahuhulaan kung anong magiging katapusan ng kuwento sapagkat maraming elemento ang istorya na napanood ko na sa ibang pelikulang nakatatakot. Halimbawa, ang isa-isang pagkamatay ng mga tauhan sa kuwento. Anglagay, hinintay lamang ng manonood na mamatay ang mga kaibigan nina Cedric (Daniel Padilla) at Leni (Kathryn Bernardo)upang matukoy kung magtatapos na ba ang pelikula. Gayunpaman, nakatutuwa pa ring malamang konektado ang pagkamatay ng mga tauhan sa pamahiing nilabag nila. Naging malikhain ang manonood sa pag-iisip ng mga paraan kung paano papatayin ang mga tauhan.

Gaya ng inaasahan, maganda ang direksiyon ng pelikula. Ang totoo niyan, si Frasco Mortiz ang isa pang rason kung bakit ko piniling panoorin ang Pagpag. Labis kong nagustuhan ang huling pelikula niyang napanood ko. Kaya naman, sa panonood ko ng Pagpag, higit akong umasa na magiging maganda rin ito. Ngunit, labis naman akong nasawi.

On toil and soil: Pitong Sundang

There is something frightening about the way that we, as people, hold a piece of paper at high value. The thought of presenting a signature to prove ownership creates a black hole in our living. We can claim property to the land on which we were born; yet, we were raised to acknowledge ink on paper as power. The central idea posed in this chapter of our lives as a Filipino society, then, is the fact that power can absolutely change everything.

Pitong Sundang: mga Sayaw sa Lupa at Pakikibaka is an accurate depiction of the present situation of trade on Philippine soil. We have the farmer who contentedly toils his land in an effort to make ends meet in a competitive global market while looking towards better prospects for the family to which he returns. He wakes up to the sight of intruders determined to grab hold of his property and everything for which he has worked. And, they are bound to get it simply because they can. They patronize the farmer, feeding him a load of bull, until the farmer toils for them – people who barely know the labor. He soaks, chafes, and enslaves himself only to get nothing in return, to be cheated time and again. He is left with a land barren that there is barely anything left. His entire life – destroyed by snails, disfigured by locusts, and spoiled by rats – crushed by entities that are deemed untouchable because the piece of paper in their possession has created a force field around. Fight and be eaten; keep silent and get beaten anyway.

Whether we choose to look at it in that particular manner or dismiss it as another form, these illnesses have been present in our society for generations, almost like a mandatory heritage that deserved to be innate. Farmers and their family – little children – killed without any trace of reluctance; gunned down for demanding land reforms, protesting harsh labor conditions and unfair trade policies. They become a people tied at the waist, restrained by the very ones who were sworn to protect them at all costs. In our history, we have the Hacienda Luisita massacre to begin with. Who’s to say that the painfully slow bureaucracy is not here for a culmination of wealth? That the foreign countries do not seek imperialism? That the businessmen are not driven to climb a notch higher in the social hierarchy? And, if that is all so, then where are we as a people? What weapon does the meek and the poor have against the powerful?

This performance was an enchanting representation of all these issues; a wake-up call for the meek to rise as one, to reclaim the land that is truly ours. A thought that settled into me was the idea that the land, as well as the crops on which it breathes life, might as well be us, the Filipinos. It is always there to be stepped on, to dig, to read the headlines when the wind blows the hapless news, to be soaked with the blood that was shed from the hands of labor. The pests trample on it, yet it remains silent. We are caged animals: our captors anticipate our errors. Then they leap at us and rip us to tiny little shreds. And out of fear and false pretenses, we allow them because we have nothing with which to fight.

We are being called to fight: to go against the odds like the mighty heroes before us; those in the likes Andres Bonifacio, who fought his all to get this land on which we stand. Enough of the bureaucracy, the militia, foreign rulers, and negotiators. We could not let them take advantage of us anymore, or strike us, or thrust their hips unto ours. Enough submission and degradation. There is no doubt in my mind that we can always find ways to rise above errant dominion. If the answers lie on revolts, then so be it. For the price of unity and for the reclamation of what is truly ours, then so be it. It is okay to be obedient or to be good. But it is a different and a far nobler thing to do what is right. Only in this manner will we be able to contentedly plow our land again.

Glossolalia (Ang mundo ayon kay Marlon Hacla)

Binabalot ng mausok na konsepto ng liwanag ang Glossolalia ni Marlon Hacla, na siyang nagpapaliwanag ng relihiyon at kung papaano ito nilalayuan at muling binabalikan ng tao, sa pag-asang matatanaw din ang kahalagahan nito. Sa pamamagitan ng mga kasindaksindak na salita at kakilakilabot na paglalarawan, dinadala ni Marlon Hacla ang mambabasa sa bangin ng katiyakan, sa katapusan ng buhay, sa mga lihim na pagnanasa, sa kasidhian ng pagtatalik, sa mga politikal na suliranin, at sa gitna ng mga pahina ng Bibliya.

Sinasalamin ng akda ang buhay ng tao, na sa kanyang pagsilang ay pinapasok sa mga tradisyunal na paniniwala ng mundo; na sa kanyang binyag ay nagiging pagmamay-ari ng Diyos; na nabibiyayaan ng komedya at trahedya mula sa kanyang mga unang yapak; na nagpapakabanal at nakakapaghintay; nayayamot at nagkakasala; matitipuhan ang siyensia, kung kailan siya gagawa ng sariling paniniwala upang bugsuin ang kanyang uhaw sa kaalaman, para sa kanyang sariling kaluguran.

Sa paglusob ng modernismo, nakikita ang pagkawasak ng relihiyon. Lahat ng magagandang hangarin pati na rin masasamang balakin ay nababase sa kalawakan, sunggab ng siyensiya; o di kaya'y nasa matataas na gusali, mabibilis na behikulo, at magagarbong teknolohiya - mga instrumentong hindi mawawala sa pag-unlad ng kalidad ng buhay. Sa paghihintay sa Diyos na tila nananahimik na lamang sa panahong ito, inaasam ng tao ang magandang hinaharap upang takasan ang mapait na nakaraan; upang makagawa ng bagong bukas.

Ngunit sa tuwing natatamo niya na ang dulo ng buhay ay hindi kasing ganda ng kanyang inaasam, nanunumbalik ang tao sa nakaraan, upang pagsisihan ang mga nagawa, upang tuklasin kung saan nagkamali. Sa bandang huli, kapag kaharap na ng tao ang kanyang kamatayan - kamatayan na itinakda ng tadhana at sa gayon ay hindi na maaaring labanan - babalik at babalik din siya sa relihiyon, kung kailan niya pag-iispan ang mga sagot sa mga tanong ng susunod na henerasyon, kung saan niya gustong balikan ang nakaraan na siguradong kaniya nang nalimutan, kung kailan niya hinahanap ang Panginoon. Maiintindihan niya na ang bagay na sumasalungat sa liwanag ang siyang makakapagbigay ng katahimikan sa pagkabagabag. Lahat tayo, pagdating sa kamatayan ay babalik sa relihiyon upang maunawaan kung sino ba talaga tayo, at kung para saan tayo.

Ang kalawakan ng paksang gaya nito ay nabibigyan hustisya lamang sa hugis ng prosa. Sa paglihis mula sa tradisyunal na korte ng tula, kung saan namamayagpag ang mga berso, mas nagiging kasindaksindak ang akda. Hindi nabibigyan diin ang "kagandahan" na naiuugnay sa tula anupa't mas malayang naipadarama ang linggatong na nararapat lang sa koleksyong ito. Nagkakabuhol-buhol ang mga salita sa paraan na sila ay nagkakaisa.

Isang pagmumunimuni sa hinaharap; isang malaking tandang pananong tungkol sa at para sa Diyos. Mga boses na nakikipagkompetensiya sa isa't-isa upang marinig ang kaniya-kaniyang daing, tila naghahanap ng malinaw na kasagutan sa kanilang mga maseselang katanungan. Sa ganitong paraan nakikita na ang mga tula sa koleksyon ay galing sa panig ng iba't-ibang persona, iba't-ibang katauhan na mayroong agam-agam sa Diyos at sa relihiyong Kanyang kinakatawan.

Isinalim ni Hacla ang humanidad upang isiwalat ang mga maling akala ng tao, na siyang nagpapakilala sa repraksyon ng liwanag. Gaya ng pinapahiwatig ng kaisipan ng tulang "Maliliit na Bagay", maraming paniniwala ang nababago sa kamatayan.

Nakasaad sa libro ang iba’t-ibang sikreto ng tao, mga pangamba tungkol sa relihiyon, mga salig na sumasalungat sa pananampalataya: tukso, kamatayan, gyera, kataksilan, pag-aabanduna ng ala-ala. Hindi man nito masasagot kung saan mananatili ang enerhiya ng mga namayapa na, o kung tama bang pumunta sa Diyos nang may kakaunting bahid ng sala, naririto naman ang mga rason kung bakit natin kailangan ng relihiyon, ng Diyos, at kung bakit kailangan nating magkasala.

Ang kanyang salita ay matalim - instrumentong tumutulong sa mambabasa na tuklasin ang anumang sikreto ng buhay, na malaman kung ano ang nasa kabilang daigdig, at kung bakit ang taong nakararating doon ay walang magawa kundi "magpumiglas" at "magnasang bumalik sa mundong ito".

At kung ikaw pa rin ay nagtataka kung saan ba patungo ang tao pagkatapos ng buhay na ito, kung alin sa dalawang bersiyon ng iyong sarili ayon kay Josef Koudelka ang lalabas sa iyong katawan: ang tutubuan ba ng sungay o ang bundok na nilulunod sa kadiliman, ang pagbabasa ng akdang ito ay maaari makatulong sa paglutas, sa pagpili, at pag-isip ng iyong kahahantungan hanggang sa ikaw na mambabasa ay wala nang magawa kundi manahimik at makinig na lamang sa maestrong si Marlon Hacla.

Surjeri (sa konsepto ni bilis)

Umiikot ang tulang Surjeri ni Jema Pamintuan sa konsepto ng kamalayan ng tao bilang mas mabilis na sistema kaysa teknolohiya, kung saan ang kamalayan ay maaaring resulta ng kanyang personal na kaalaman; ang pagkakaintindi tungkol sa isang bagay batay sa pangunahing karanasan; o maaaring bunga ng modernismo, sinilangan ng teknolohiya, na humihintulot sa mga tao na mabatid at maipagpalagay ang mga pag-aalinlangan tungkol sa mga bagay na kailanman ay hindi pa nila nararanasan.

Ang nasabing konsepto ay naaaninag ng mismong ideya ng akda. Mababasa ang pagkabahala at pagmumunimuni ng persona hinggil sa proseso ng surjeri. Mula sa mga unang patak ng alkohol kung saan isinasawsaw ang bulak na ipampapahid sa "kumakabog na dibdib", patungo sa pagturok ng anesthesia upang maging manhid ang pook na kinukublihan ng yumayabong bukol, hanggang sa marahang pagtahi ng "nakangangang balat", malinaw na naipinta ang bawat pamamaraan at alituntunin ng isang maselan na operasyon bagaman walang katiyakan kung ito ba ay mismong nangyayari sa persona o sadyang pagkokondisyon lamang ng kamalayan sa katawang papasok sa operasyon.

Sa mga aspektong ito umaaligid ang konsepto ng bilis, na siyang nag-uugnay sa oras at espasyo. Oras, na masidhing kinakalkula sa paghihimay-himay ng parteng inooperahan; at espasyo, na kinakatawan ng persona (o pasyente), ng dokor, pati na rin ng lugar kung saan ginaganap ang komplikadong paninistis. Bilis din ang nagsasalin ng ugnayang ito sa prinsipyong moderno; sa siyentipikong prinsipyo ng surjeri, na kung anong literal na pagpuna ay mabilis ding ririlyebo sa mga kaisipang abstrak.

Hango sa konsepto ng bilis, pumapasok ang ideya ng efficiency o ang mabilis na paghahatid nang pangangailangan gamit ang kakaunting enerhiya. Makikita ito sa mga instrumentong ginagamit sa proseso ng surjeri: ang gunting, karayom, at pait, na silang nagbabawas ng pagpapakasakit sa parte ng doktor. Sandata niyang tiyak ang anesthesia, na marahang ituturok sa “pasyenteng naligalig” upang mamanhid ang mga kalakip na pook ng balat na hihiwain, at nang sa gayon ay mabawasan ang pagpapakasakit sa parte naman ng pasyente. Walang sakit, walang abala: mabilis na daloy ng operasyon. Sa ganitong paraan nagiging matagumpay ang pagsasakatuparan ng tungkulin.

Tumuturo sa persona ng doctor ang mga usaping burukrasya o mga proseso ng pagpapabilis at pagkalat ng kapangyarihan at impluwensiya upang ituon ang pagsisikap, panahon, enerhiya, at pansin ng tao sa mga bagay na makapangyarihan. Ang doktor na siyang nagsasagawa ng mga kaparaanan, siya na may hawak ng lisensiya na kumakatawan sa kanyang mga kaalaman, siyang babayaran pa rin ng pasyente anuman ang maganap sa apat na sulok ng laboratoryo, ay hindi masisisi sa nagbabadyang wakas. Sa halip, hindi matitigilan ng anumang resulta ang paglago ng kapangyarihan na kanyang pinanghahawakan. Kapangyarihan sa salapi, oras, pasyente, pati na rin sa lipunan kung saan tinitingala at tinatamo ang kanyang mga ekslusibong serbisyo.

Matatagpuan ang kuryente sa mga kasangkapan na, sa operasyon, ay nakakalusot sa parte ng katawan kung saan sumisibol ang nakakubling bukol. Ang bukol na natutulog sa ubod ng tao, na hindi natin nakikita o maaaring hawakan nang walang tamang kagamitan ay nalulusutan at nasusungkit. Pinapasok nito ang mga lugar na hindi natin kayang abutin. Napapabilis ang resulta. Nagagawa ang imposible.

Sa pagpasok ng tao sa operasyon, lumilitaw ang pagkabagabag sa kanyang dibdib. Ang anesthesiang ituturok ay hindi sapat upang sugpuin ang kamalayan, na siyang naghahayag para sa ginagampanang papel ng nagmamanhid na katawan. Ang pangangailangang itakda ang sarili sa hinaharap ay agad tutugunan ng kamalayan, na siyang nagtatangkang mapaginhawa ang nangangambang kalooban. Sa paghihimok nito sa sarili na manalig sa kaalaman ng doctor, kinukublian nito ang mga pagdududa, at pinapakawalan ang mga nakasansalang takot. Sa ganitong pag-iisip lamang ay lumuluwag ang naninikip na dibdib, nangingibabaw ang pagpapalubay, at nahahawi ang kaba at nang sa magtiwala ang pasyente sa mabuting hinaharap.

Dito rin mapapansin na ang buong proseso ng surjeri ay isang pagtanggi sa konsepto ng bilis. Ang kaalaman ng tao na mayroong bukol sa kanyang katawan at na isinasagawa ang isang maselan na operasyon upang sungkitin ito ay sumsira sa normal na daloy ng buhay. Walang konsepto ng bilis - hindi efficiency, burukrasya, o kuryente - ang makakapagkalkula sa nalalabing resulta ng operasyon, gaya nang hindi pagkilala ng bilis sa kamatayan. Ang resulta ay kaya lamang ibigay ng teknolohiya, na siya namang inuunahan ng kamalayan.

Ang pag-unawa ng tao sa mga pangyayaring kanyang pinagdadaanan ay mahigpit na nakabuhol sa konsepto ng kamalayan na naghihintulot sa kanya na mapuna ang ibig sabihin ng mga karanasang ito. Habang hinihintay ng nababahalang damdamin ang resultang kaya lamang tustusan ng teknolohiya, mabilis na kumikilos ang kamalayan upang ipaliwanag ang mga nadarama o dapat maramdaman. Mula sa pagpahid ng bulak hanggang sa pag-iniksyon ng anesthesia hanggang sa pagpapakawala ng mga tanong na "nakakulong sa susungkiting bukol", pati sa pagsara ng hiwa, walang humpay ang pagdikta ng kamalayan sa sarili na huwag mabagabag sapagkat mayroon pang tatamasin na bukas, na matahimik ang kalooban sapagkat buhay pa ang pag-asa. Ang takbo nito ay sadyang mas kaakit-akit kaysa kahit ano pang teknolohiya.

Ang Oresteyas sa Tanghalang Ateneo

Masama ang bunga ng masama. Ito ang kwento ng Ang Oresteyas, isang trahedyang Griyego na umuusad sa tema ng paghihiganti. Sumisigaw ang konsepto bilang silakbo ng damdamin ng mga karakter, na bagaman katiting lamang ng kanilang pagkatao ang naipresenta ay ating nakilala batay sa mga salitang kanilang pinahayag. Kilala natin si Agamemnon sa pighating kanyang nadarama mula sa salang pag-alay ng panganay na anak na si Iphigenia; si Klytemnestra sa ganid na bumabalot sa kanyang pagkatao, na siya ring naging motibo niya sa pagpaslang sa asawa; ang mga koro o alipin sa Bahay ng Atrius sa takot at kawalan ng karapatan; si Orestes sa kanyang pangungulila sa mga magulang at mga kapatid; at si Elektra sa galit at pagnanasa na matagal niya nang inuukit sa kanyang dibdib.

Ang entablado ay tinamnan ng mga harang na nagmistulang rehas, na siyang sumisimbolo sa paglulupig: ang pagsugpo ng mga damdamin sa Bahay ng Atrius - ang pagsasalarawan ni Agamemnon ng lakas sa gitna ng pagtatangis, ang pagnanasa ni Agistos kay Klytemnestra, ang pagkimkim ni Elektra ng poot sa ina, ang hangad ni Orestes na lumaya sa sumpa ng kanyang pamilya; at ang pagsasawata ng karapatan ng mga alipin, ng mga kababaihan, at pati ng mga ordinaryong tauhan sa panahon kung saan umiikot ang storya.

Lalabas ang mga panauhin hindi lamang sa iisang entrada kundi saanman sa teatro. Moderno ang tela ng kanilang mga kasuotan, ngunit binansagan ang mga ito ng disenyo na tapat sa makalumang panahon: ang itim na korona at tsaleko ni Agamemon, na silang simbolo ng kamatayan at simula ng kalupitan; ang pulang bestida ni Klytemnestra, na nagmistulang apoy ng impyerno; ang mga maduduming basahan na suot ng mga alipin; ang bulgaridad ng blusa ni Elektra habang tinatagay niya ang bote ng alak. Hindi sila nawawala sa karakter, kahit sa ultimong paglilipat ng mga disenyo sa entablado, o pag-aabang ng parteng isasabak sa dula.

Umanod sa pula ang mga dingding ng entablado sa pagkamatay ni Agamemnon. Pula, para sa kulay ng dugo na dumagsa sa mga kamay ng asawang si Klytemnestra. Kasindaksindak ang ritmo ng musika, kasing bilis ng takbo ng puso ng isang taong balot sa pagkakasala. Nagdilim ang mga ilaw gaya ng pagdilim ng paningin ng Mahal na Reyna habang hawak ang taga na ilang ulit pang isinaksak sa katawan ng asawa. Kung pinatay niya si Agamemnon upang ipaghiganti si Iphigenia o upang mamuno sa kaharian ay hindi ko malaman. Ngunit mapapaisip ang manonood tungkol sa moralidad. Sa bandang huli, mortal lang din ang Bahay ng Atrius. Hanggang saan ang sapat para sa taong nakabalikuko sa paghihiganti? Para sa taong mataas ang mga hangarin?

Isang dalubhasang konsepto ang paggamit ng mga tagapanood bilang hukuman na hahatol kung si Orestes ba ay nagkasala o hindi. Makatarungan bang patayin ng isang anak ang kanyang ina upang ipaghiganti ang kanyang ama? Hindi nga ba't tungkuling una sa lahat ito ng anak? Papaano naman kung ang ina ang pinaslang ng anak - hindi ba ito ay kasuklamsuklam sa Diyos, pati na rin sa kapwa tao? Ang banal na obligasyon ay nakatali sa nakaririnding krimen. Siya na gusto lamang gawin kung ano ang tama ay nalagay sa posisyon kung saan dapat siyang pumili sa dalawang mali. Siya ay taksil sa kanyang ama o tagausig sa kanyang ina. Nauwi ang desisyon sa walang hatol; tabla. May kabuluhan ba ang ginawa ni Orestes? Malinis ba ang mga kamay ni Elektra sa kabila ng kanyang paghimok sa ideyang pagpaslang sa ina? Tanggap ba ng sambayanan ang ganitong konsepto ng paghihiganti? Ang paghahari ng makasalanan sa kanilang kaharian? Nasa isip na lamang ng manonood ang huling hatol.

Puti ang kulay ng kapatawaran. Sa isang eksena kung saan nagkatagpo sa kabilang buhay sina Klytemnestra at Agamemnon, maitatanong: gaano katagal darating ang kapayapaan at kapatawaran sa taong nagawan ng sala? Kaakit-akit ang ipinakitang asal ni Agamemnon - siya na nagawan ng napakalaking kasalanan ngunit mas pinili ang pagkadalisay kaysa sariling benggansa. Sa kabila ng linggatong at karahasan na pumalagi sa kanilang pagkatao, naging mapayapa ang pagtatapos ng isang paghihiganti.

Sa paglabas ko mula sa madilim at masikretong mundo ng Bahay ng Atrius, nakabuntot pa rin ang mga konsepto ng pagmamahal at pagkasuklam; pagsasalba at paghihiganti. Ramdam pa rin ang epekto ng palabas bagaman ilang oras na rin ang nakalilipas mula nang ito'y magwakas. Mga maseselang salita na hindi pangkaraniwang binibigkas; mga mahahalay na galaw na pilit inuusig sa likod ng isipan; mga kaawa-awang boses na kahit pilit busalan ay nangingibabaw kasabay ng umaalingangaw na tunog na ginamit sa dula - sila ang pinakalaman ng palabas; ang rason kung bakit naging kapanipaniwala ang pagsasabuhay ng kwento. Dadalhin ng dula ang manonood sa panahon ng Griyego, sa mundo ng isang madugong giyera, sa kailaliman ng sikreto ng lipi ng mga dugong bughaw. Nakakabusog pa rin silang isipin. Ito ang romansa ng trahedya.

On the situation of the Philippine coastal reefs

Albeit we urge ourselves to preserve our aquatic resources in each waking hour, we still heavily sense the weight of the economy’s constant decline. Stealthily, we are losing the battle, defeated by the immensity of our own personal concerns. We recognize the foreshadowing of the unrelenting inevitable: the successive loss of our reserves is being unveiled right before our eyes. One day, all of these might just disappear.

We revert as pieces in a chess board when it comes to the protection of our aquatic resources. The whole world is just waiting for us to make a move, one independent step on the checkered arena. The few starting exchanges have been presented by foreigners: Germans, who generously exerted magnanimous effort to guide us pawns to protect the king reserves. Laid out for us the blueprint in the most convenient way imaginable – in our native tongue – to continue, if we dare.

And we ought to. The sea, with its crashing waves ushering in a new form of aquatic life, has shaped the community for the longest time. We all depend on it. Now, the community, in itself, needs to shape it. The life underneath the surfaces lies in our hands. We cannot rely on false enthusiasms created by political warfare. We look after what is given us: the simple gems that keep us afloat with our coastal identity – the ones which power we do not entirely understand until clarified further; like the humble mangrove that has the ability to avert the ugly realities of nature.

Our bay needs protection. I know people who call it their life; their livelihood. We, as consumers, ought to treat it as our sidekick: our partner in human survival. Knowing that there are people out there who care, who, without getting the proper training, know what Coastal Resource Management takes brings a warm feeling into my core. It proves true that we can, someday, stand on our own, that we will soon be the ones walking the walk and talking the talk. It is only a matter of time before we readily launch ourselves to prove it.

What we have is eventually too much for one person. For a select group of people, even. Estrangement welcomes the idea of disunity. What we need are hands of diverse backgrounds that would be willing to link together in the face of disparity. Seven thousand islands – who would take heed? Those who will notice and take time to act will be those very hands. They are the very bold who will conquer the fight towards preservation and fortification.

So, all these resources – the fish, the coasts, the mangroves – we cannot let them disappear; instead, we imagine a future bettered for, if not because of, them: with bodies of water, beginning with Iligan and Maribojok, flourishing with more than what constitutes them now. With the gangrene of anxiety extinguished from the minds of the enduring fisherman and the diligent merchant. With the livelihood that directly points to these resources stabilized as the cornerstone would a house. With the serenity encompassing the salty water accompanied by the sweet sound of native bongos. We need to see this. We cannot lose the battle; we have to keep on charging.

Carta, Homebound: Comparison and Contrast

Whether it was about grieving for the death of a child or anticipating an acknowledgement from an estranged lover, Homebound’s andCarta’s stories both revolved around the painful realization of having to let go and move on from the instances that paralyze us within the confines of our grief.

The colour palette used in both films corresponded to the mood being portrayed in each story. Homebound, with its dark and dreary elements presented the ideas of tragedy and death. Carta, on the other hand, was fixated on the concepts of a forgotten love and the drive to unveil its phantasms.

Homebound, there was the slow pacing and (silent) dialogues or lack thereof. I have a feeling that these were attempts to make the production seem more daunting; to emphasize the heaviness of the situation, which was losing Chloe to a horrible car accident. Instead, this arrangement gave off a dull aura that somehow tested my patience. Ironically, I found Carta’s mystery plot much more thrilling when I don’t think that that was the intention of the film. Yet, in a not very flattering light, the final conversation between Carta’s main characters left a few ‘why’s’ on my mind. Like, why the mailman was angry with the old woman just because the latter was sending herself letters. Whether it was a simple case of bad script or bad acting, it likewise spoiled what would have been an excellent story.

On the other hand, the foundations that comprised both films were interesting to observe. Carta, for one, with its blunt and simple plot, never welcomed subtlety in its story. Rather, the transition of events unravelled into one dynamic body, clearly expressing the animosity of a man in a hard day’s work and the mysteries that might as well be worth uncovering. Homebound, meanwhile, possessed only the most haunting features: the sheet-covered furniture, apparitions by the staircase, creepy statues at the cemetery. The scenes flowed mistily, as though the chain of events were meant to intertwine with one another so as not to tell a distinct time. Only a keen observer will be able to decipher the indirect elements that would eventually explain the hair-raising denouement of the film.

Homebound both turned out. The results were unpredictable twists that forced me to further process the depth of either story. Carta, with the acceptance of lost love concluded into a satisfactory, if not, happy ending. On the other hand, Homebound, with its rude-awakening, did not make me smile out of joy, yet made me reconsider to what extent happy endings should be based. I like how I could interpret either story in limitless perspectives. I think that’s always wonderful to discover when viewing a piece of art.

In the end, Carta, beyond its simplistic love story, and Homebound, beyond its fascinating take on the human spirit, and their differences and similarities, displayed a central message on vulnerability and desire and the energies that bind these together. In seemingly dramatic and well-paced directions, both films encompassed thought-provoking climaxes, in which we, as the audience, would come to realize that accepting the facts and letting go is the only way to love.

Certainly worth thirty minutes of my time.

Antas ng Edukasyon sa Pilipinas

Okay, I must dissect this video.

In the documentary, we were exposed to the practice of placing two or three grade levels in one classroom, simply because there weren't any other schools in the barrio. In some cases, a barricade is placed between two parallel sides of the classroom in the hopes of developing two different rooms. But this doesn't work. There would be times when the teacher is having a discussion with her grade one pupils while her grade two pupils take a test. This method becomes distracting to the latter, and will most likely result to poor output. Or, a teacher will be discussing in one classroom while another one discusses in the next room. This might actually be worse because both classes now cannot concentrate on their lessons. The students will have to endure this bargain.

The decrease in the number of teachers is becoming a growing problem in our country. No teachers, no students. Also, there aren't many teachers who would choose to volunteer in the remote areas of rural Philippines to teach only a handful of students without much support from the government. That would be a win-lose situation with the teachers gnawing at the short end of the stick. In the documentary, we met only one or two teachers for each different documented barrio. This is a big deal; these people are eventually hailed as fallen angels by the native elders.

This is the most distressing problem because one still cannot figure out how this could possibly be resolved. Both teacher and student, regardless of medical status or stature, endure a three-hour travel (by boat or by foot) just to get to the nearest school. Emphasis on “nearest”.

In the documentary, the kids didn't have notebooks, much less a piece of paper to write on. This simple school necessity is substituted with banana leaves, which both teacher and students also pick by themselves on their way to and from school. And, instead of a pencil or a pen, they write with coals. This is an extremely hard practice, and I could only imagine so much. Books are already out of the question. This problem cannot be neglected because when a classroom lacks these vital tools for teaching, then most hands-on activities will not be possible, hindering whatever creative processes our left brain imposes on each and every one of us.

Due to financial worries, most kids cannot go to school. Some of them even have to stop, increasing the number of dropouts each year. This is a sad undertaking for those students, especially because they seem to be the ones who enthuse about learning. Then there is the curious case of hand-me-downs, which isn't relatively wrong. But, when I watched in the documentary the siblings who exchanged shoes as the other was on his way home and the other only on the way to school, as a fellow youth, I felt extremely sad, as though all the evils in Pandora's box enveloped around that moment alone, and there was only sorrow and sympathy to hang on to. There are those who have to repeat a grade level again and again because they can't finish a schoolyear because of money troubles. Some of these kids have to work, even before the classes themselves begin.

What can I, as a youth, possibly do?

It would seem that numerous documentaries have already been created to voice out these concerns. Evidently, Secretary Armin Luistro has a few ideas, but when will these sentiments be presented and implemented in actuality? We can't let learning wait anymore. If our adults are having a hard time concocting a solution, what more are the youths, such as myself, capable of?

These days, I can only consider one major thing for us, youths, to do for situations like these, and that is to write. Write to the newspapers, write to the government offices, write to the President. We write until someone listens. The power of the word is a very sharp and influential tool, but we don't get to see that as much. If we actually get these writings out there, maybe some act of God be kind enough to help because, obviously, the youth cannot always be there in the remote parts of the country to say, build a school, or teach. We simply cannot shoulder the problem with the decreasing number of teachers and the distance between home and school.

Perhaps, we could have a fund raising! If we earn enough money from this activity, then maybe we can have another classroom or two erected for the kids. Perhaps we can have it built near their houses so that they don't have to travel anymore. Anything seems possible. Better yet, we can donate. It wouldn't hurt to give our crayons, old notebooks, or pencils to the rural areas; I'm sure it will be greatly appreciated. Child sponsorship is probable – this is what my adviser in high school is doing to an estranged relative, and it has done the kid wonders – but perhaps that is a little too outlandish?

I wish I could say something else, something profound. Anything that might seem insightful to see past this social issue. But right now, unless a deus ex machina shows up and the government doesn't strain its neck too far anymore in aiding with these problems, I can only let things be.

On the Spratlys issue: a youth's perspective

Whether we lack the time or whether we have too much of it, we, as youths, can only do so much regarding the Spratlys issue. We deceive ourselves into thinking that the youth is blind to the nation's blemishes because of the fact that our willpower can only bring us so far. In school, we are taught the things that we, as tomorrow's future, can do to make the country (if not, the world) a better place. Yet, when we look around, the very adults that take us under their wings to educate us cannot do anything about the affairs themselves. Very soon, we will reach their stage of life. And, fleetingly, we are becoming like them.

More than ever, our country is being plagued with massive, incoherent issues. Whether we, as youths, choose to ignore them or not, our subconscious train of thought still possesses valuable ideas that can in fact “make a difference”. A major current issue is the dispute over the Spratlys, in which the Philippines is one of the countries laying claim over the islands. Obviously, it would be impossibly foolish to mix ourselves up with the heat among the conflicting countries. Our options to pave way for small changes need to be nationally relevant, yet at the same time, they have to be sound and practical.

My stand on this issue is resolution through the use of ink, which a great hero once did to inflict tabooed knowledge to his fellow Filipinos. Throughout my scholastic career, I have been made aware of my country's past and current issues, and have been furthermore asked to write reflections; a say regarding the subject at hand. These “paper works”, often viewed by most youths as merely assignments, may in fact be vital for our country's development. Once they are read and digested by the majority, these fresh opinions become significant to the coalescence of new and old insights. There are publications that allow us to do such. One is The Philippine Daily Inquirer, which offers Youngblood, a column profoundly dedicated to the youth and their stand regarding current global issues. This section distinctly recognizes national concerns – seen through the eyes of the youth. To each his own opinion, every voice matters, no censorship or anything of the like: it's not difficult to contribute.

For the Spratlys issue, it is also wholesome for us youths to support the Philippine navy, which not only plays a most vital role in protecting our oceanic territories, but also puts on the line the lives of its men, guarding the most harrowing coastal areas to ensure a nation's safety. It's sad to think that they're doing all those things for a whole that do not completely recognize them or their sacrifices. A little “thank you” never hurts. Considering that we, the youths, have the most direct access to and the more voracious knowledge of the social media, it is relatively easy for us to potently spread our gratitude. Facebook, Twitter, and blogs are some of the mediums that can aid us in our campaign of supporting the Philippine navy and distinguishing their mission as “Guardians of the Philippine Sea”.

We Filipino youths must maintain proof that to end disputes, we do not need arms or brutality – an idea that is actually possible. Words don't need to hurt. A war does not deem a nation victorious, but rather, devastates an entire world. There is no harmony in these undertakings. The Philippines is not big enough for China, let alone the Chinese military. Once a nation so flourished, ours is now viewed by most as a dependent third-world country that is too small to thrive and make claims on important resources. And unless something is done to make the tables turn around, we will continue passing on this sad fact to the next batch of youths. Ever wondered if that sought-after impact will come from our generation? I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.

On good citizenship

I have since shunned away the significance of recognizing my nationality, which may have been brought about by the powerful Western influence, or the sheer distaste over my country's issues and its overreacting, bonehead media.

Some days ago, upon hearing the words that were mindlessly inculcated in me when I was a decadent child, “Maka-Diyos, makatao, makakalikasan, at makabansa”, I have again reflected upon being a Filipino. I was anchored by the reality that most of my outlooks in life remain as that of a Filipina, who aims to defend her nation, to know the law, to contribute to the country's development, to gain a lawful job, and in a year, to elect rightful people to government. Little by little, I am building up my Amor Patria – that “pambansang dangal” that I have since disregarded.

I am glad to relate that I, a pure Filipino youth by blood and belief, is an asset to the growing populace of my country. For better or for worse, I am, as you might say, “a cornerstone” that will help build this nation.