Going home

I am packing my things for home
Going to leave this place
Going to call it a year
Trying to leave this memory clean
Cannot decide which ones to take and which ones to leave behind
Cannot fathom the reality of this day
Makes me sad
A kind of sentimental heaviness brewing within the depths of my core
Although I want to
I cannot breathe a sigh of relief
All the airways are blocked
By guilt
And fear
And love
And regret
It's all real now